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| Getting
To Commitment
Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into
relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language,
and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions
are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment
issues or involved with someone who is.
|
| He's
Scared, She's Scared
Available for the first time in paperback,
this follow-up to the phenomenally successful
Men Who Can't Love tackles
the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying
contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore
why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the
equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and
real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom
gained by personal experience,
He's
Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine,
sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.
|
| Men
Who Can't Love
This book saved me from going crazy and
from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate
commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that
all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded
just like the people in this book she'd read -
"Men
Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What
a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the
behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my
boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers
while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from
me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid
out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the
same time.
|
| I
Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
This is a
great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you
have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD
it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual
to other are understandable and can be explained and
treated. |
|
MJ's Story
(CP)
I know
that I have had problems with commitment in many aspects of my life. I came
across this site and read all the stories of the men and women who either
broke up with or were in love with CPs. I found the stories to be insightful
and identified w/ the relationship patterns of both the victims and the
perpetraters.
I am making a commitment to myself to reform my behaviour but in the meantime,
I do have a story to write..........
I am a 38yr.old woman,attractive and have never been married. I have never
even been engaged. It's not that I have not had opportunities, it's just
that marriage/commitment was something I never envisioned for myself. When
I reflect back on the few relationships I have had, the men were always
unavailable in some form either physically or emotionally. Whenever I was
sexually involved with a man/boyfriend, I was always at his place,bed,territory
because that was how I set up our intimacy. I never had a man spend the night
at my place because I did not feel good about letting him into my world.
Insecurity tore at me constantly and I always felt that if I allowed a man
to come to my place, then he could and would judge me negatively about my
surroundings such as furniture,books,housekeeping,etc. and he would not want
anything to do with me.
 |
How
to Win Back Their
Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer
attracted to you
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Broken
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|
I have done this
all my life not letting people into my world but the problem is that at some
point, you either let your guard down or make up excuses why you no longer
want to continue seeing someone.
I finally have let my guard down with a man I met recently while I was in
Hawaii. His name is Ralph and he is unfortunately geographically undesirable
since he resides in Amsterdam. I wasn't looking for anything or anyone when
we met. I was in Hawaii on business but during my down time I wanted to party
a little so I went to a bar and that is where we met. We exchanged phone
numbers and went out the next night. Very nice date, great conversation and
agreed to see each other again the following evening. Another great night,
this time we kissed and the pace was very romantic. Since it was my last
night in Hawaii, I wanted him to spend the night with me. He did and enjoyed
a passionate night together. The next morning he asked me to stay longer
on the island. I was embarrassed but I admitted that I could not change my
ticket because it would be an extra expense that I could not justify at the
moment. He was so sweet about it and because he wanted me to stay with him,
he made the arrangement to change my travel day and paid the extra expense.
Basically, we had a wonderful time together. Ralph had been in Hawaii for
over a month on holiday and was going to go home right after but he came
to visit me for a week where I live in the states. I have to say that this
is the very first time in my life that I have allowed a man into my turf,meeting
my sisters and friends. We felt very comfortable together and had the very
same connection together. He has invited me to visit with him where he lives
in Amsterdam and has offered to take care of the arrangements.
I am realistic and until I have a confirmed travel itinerary, then I have
to just keep things in perspective. There are CP traits that this man and
I both share after all, he is 40 and has never been married himself or engaged.
I don't know where this relationship will lead but I have feelings for him
that I have not felt in many years. At the same time, I have a life too and
I have to continue it.
In closing I will say this, regardless of the future w/ Ralph, he has
demonstrated to me that I do not need to fear intimacy. I let him in my world
as imperfect as it is. He slept in my bed,saw my unorganized closets and
cupboards, rode in my car, ate my food, met my cats, friends and sisters.
All this time I was ashamed of my life and surroundings (childhood memories)
and I never needed to be. I care about Ralph and look forward to a reunion
with him. At the same time, I feel fearless now that the shades are raised.
What was I so afraid of?
From
Commitment Phobe to "I Do"! A ten-step
plan for winning your CP's heart and getting that long overdue & much
deserved commitment. Get the Commitment Phobe to Make
a Commitment! Join Our Awesome Community and talk with other CPs and CP
Lovers!
Dream Chasers: The Commitment Phobe Addiction
(Falling in Love and Dealing with a Commitmentphobic
Person). You can be reading this insightful
information, written especially for those who are in love with a commitment
phobic person, in less than two minutes! (NOTE: This webBook is
free when you join
our community!)
Fellow CP's and CP lovers!
Let's hear your stories! |
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